Adopt a kid for Christmas?!?!

At this point in time, I’m the type of person who will see the phrase “Adopt a Highway” and much rather see “Sponsor a Highway.”  But I realize, hey, the world hasn’t quite caught up yet.  Today, though, I went to the bank to make a deposit, and as I was pulling out and having Lakota sit down (we always go through the drive through because she loves all the attention and cookies she gets!), I noticed this sign:

Help our kids this year!  Adopt a child for the holidays!

Ummm…WHAT???  Sorry, I didn’t realize you could adopt a child just for the holiday season.  What do you do with said child after the holiday season?  Give them back? 

Or are we talking about sponsoring a child during the holidays?  Providing holiday meals and clothes and money and what not?

Or perhaps we’re talking about doing something like pulling a tag from a Giving Tree and fulfilling a wish for a child who might not have otherwise had a really nice present this year?

I think the bank should clarify what exactly is going on here, and I’m thinking about going back tomorrow to ask them to rephrase the sign to specify.  But first I’d like some feedback from you, who will be reading this with much cooler heads than I have right now.  So wherever you’re from, however long you’ve been a parent or waited to be a parent, please let me know what you think.  Thanks!

Roses in November

If you know anything about me, you know that I have a black thumb.  I cannot grow anything.  Instead, I rather have a tendency to kill plants that come within a certain number of feet of me.  Before Gregg and I got married, he had this lovely Christmas cactus.  It didn’t take too long after we were together that that thing bit the dust.  Right now we’re aiming for ground cover outside that I won’t be able to kill just by looking at it.  Anyway, I’m starting to digress.

Before Gregg and I even met, the previous owners of our home planted a very small rosebush in the middle of the front yard.  I don’t know what it looked like back then.  I know that when Gregg bought the house (pre-me) he made attempts at feeding it and pruning it and what have you.  After we got married?  My theory was “Don’t let me anywhere near it.  It’s blooming and if I touch it I will kill it.”  And that’s how we approach the rosebush now.  Totally hands off.  We let nature take care of it and we enjoy it from the window.

Here’s the thing about my rosebush, though.  It does not bloom consistently.  When it blooms, we normally get between one and four blooms at a time.  You never know if it will be pink or red.  Or both.  One day this summer I woke up to a whole bush full of pink blooms – the most I had ever seen.  (More about that later.)

The morning we told our adoption agency we wanted to be Pooh and Tigger’s mom and dad, four beautiful pink roses came into full bloom on our rosebush.  It was amazing.  It was also late September, and I had never seen this rosebush bloom so late in the year.

The afternoon I got a phone call from Pooh and Tigger’s mama telling me ICAB had signed off on the paperwork allowing their adoption to proceed, the whole rosebush was alive with beautiful pink roses. 

Last month, in the middle of October, I was waiting for something good to happen.  There was a red bud waiting to open.  And it never did.  It looked like it died of frost right on the stem – and in the depressed mood I was in, it was one of the saddest things to look at. 

But this morning I came back from paying a utility bill at city hall, and I noticed that the outer layer of frost had peeled away from that rose, and the rose was actually going to be in bloom.  And what do you know?  Pooh and Tigger are meeting their mommy and daddy for the first time today.  I guess sometimes you need to peel away the crap to see the beauty lying under the surface.  Oh, and what do you know.  The rose?  It’s pink.

20 months

Here we are at 20 months today.  I admit, I wrote an entirely different post before and scrapped it because of how extremely depressing it was.  I’m trying harder with this one, but unfortunately I’m not feeling the lift to write a happy post.

I know that I should be happy – thrilled, even? – that we are another month closer to our child.  I was actually doing fairly well with keeping my eye on the prize.  Twenty months now, four months to go until we hit two years, two years is normally the max mark.  Now the rumblings are that wait times are going to be reaching 30 months.  That’s 10 more months!  That’s September!  I am having a very difficult time coming to terms with this right now.

Aside from the interminable wait, Gregg and I are climbing some pretty steep mountains and the stress is really bringing us down in the dumps.  Each day I try to get up and make the day better than the one before, but seem to be having little success.  Honestly, at this point we could use just a little good news to get us through and keep us moving.  Some days I feel like I’m constantly treading water, getting nowhere and just trying to avoid being pulled under. 

So now I’ve done it again and written a bummer post, even though I didn’t want to.  This one I’m going to hit publish on, though, because this is the way it is right now.  We’re all entitled to good days and bad days, I guess, and well – this has been a very bad month.  I’ve had much, much worse, but it sure ranks up there for “wanna go hide in the corner of my closet and cry” kind of month.  But 20 months down.  So how many more to go now???

The wrong week for a wrong number

This is the end of a very ­long week.  I had just been telling a neighbor how glad I was that this week was over because it was such a tough week to get through.

And then my cell phone rang.  I saw a 215 area code and jumped a mile.  The only time we ever get calls from the 215 area code is when our adoption agency is calling.  And couldn’t we be getting That Call any time now?  It was a quick ring and I missed it.  Gregg told me to call back.  I thought about it, but they called me back first.

Me:  Hello?

Them:  Hi!  This is the Suchandsuch Inn, just calling to confirm your dinner reservation for tomorrow night.

Me:  What?  Really?  Ummm…No.  You really have the wrong phone number. 

And so we hung up and the poor woman, who I’m sure now has to figure out how to confirm a large dinner party for tomorrow night with no phone number (been there, done that, not fun) has no idea that she left me with my heart in my stomach for the rest of the evening. 

I hope it was just a warm-up for another 215 call that is coming soon.  I got a fortune cookie tonight that reads “There are many unexpected and thrilling surprises in store for you!”  It took everything I had not to ask the waiter what the success rate was for their fortune cookies.

Thankfulness on 10/10/10

October 10, 2010 – 10/10/10.  And when I hit “publish” on this, it will be 10:10 a.m.  Pretty amazing, no?

I wish I could take credit for this idea, but it actually came from this blog.  So for today, ten things I’m thankful for in life.  (In no particular order, by the way…)

1.    My relationship with my husband – as it’s been said, “we might not have it all together, but together, we’ve got it all.”  We’ve been to hell and back over the course of our marriage – we’ve come out with some scars, but I know we’re all the better for it.

2.    Family – without them, I would have nothing and be nothing.  They have gotten me through more crap and been there to celebrate along the way.  I love them, and I live for them.

3.    Faith – without my faith, I would never have made it through the last several years.  God moves mountains, even when it’s not when I want Him to.

4.    My furbabies – all eight of them.  My little monsters bring joy and laugher to this house.

5.    Working from home – Something I always wanted to do but didn’t have the chance until I lost my last job.  Losing that job was something I thought would be a tragedy, but turned out to be a small miracle, the result of which I am grateful for every day.

6.    I am so grateful for all of you who I have “met” through blogging and the Adopt-Philippines Yahoo Group.  An amazing group of women who just get it.

7.    God’s intervention in putting Pooh and Tigger’s new mama into my life.  She has been an amazing blessing to me.  After getting to know her and where the children will be, I see the other side of adoption much more clearly – and I am a better person for it.

8.    I am thankful for a new Church where we can feel moved and comforted by God’s presence.

9.    I am thankful that we are both working.

10. Right now I am thankful for all the little things fall brings – pumpkin and cranberry candles, butternut squash for dinner, and pumpkin coffee!

19 months and a whole lot of thanks

First, I have to say that the response to my last post was absolutely overwhelming.  I want to thank everyone who replied to me – you are an absolutely remarkable group of women.  I cannot thank you enough for sharing your stories with me – and with each other – and I pray that should someone else find herself in this type of painful situation, she will see this and know that there were others who have walked in the same shoes and made it to the other side.  God knows that when we lost Pooh and Tigger I felt very alone and had no idea where to turn.  I have always known that adoptive mothers and mothers-to-be were a unique group of individuals, but this is just one more thing that shows why.

Just as a further update, as of yesterday we hit our 19^th month of waiting.  Still no news.  We are another month closer, and I’m hoping that we will see our child’s beautiful face for the first time sometime in the next five months – hopefully less, and God willing, not more than that.  Besides keeping busy working, I’ve been occupying my evenings working on a trio of pillows for the little one featuring – who else?  Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore.  I’m loving the bright colors and can’t wait to see how they perk up the little one’s bedroom.  The kitties have been more than happy to help with the yarn involved in this project.  I took some pictures of their “help” and will have to post some soon. J 

To get where you're going, sometimes you have to be OK with where you've been

September 25, 2008 was a day unlike any day we had experienced before.  Gregg and I had received paperwork and photos we had been waiting on for three weeks – information all about a beautiful little girl and handsome little boy whose file we were going to review to determine if we were ready to be their parents.  Really, it took no time at all.  They were gorgeous.  Any health problems they had we could deal with.  They were perfect.  They were going to be ours.  September 25, 2008 we said yes to Pooh and Tigger and waited (and waited, and waited some more) for ICAB to get the paperwork straightened out.

And then, on March 4, 2009, they said “No.”  And March 4, 2009, was unlike any day we had experienced before.  We went from decorating bedrooms and nesting to picking up the pieces of our hearts.  We couldn’t take their bedrooms apart but we couldn’t open the doors, and every time one of the cats would open one of the bedroom doors I would get mad at the cat for making me look at it and face my grief. 

I went to see a social worker through our adoption agency for counseling.  It was a good decision, as only my husband and my parents could quite grasp the level of loss I was feeling.  I compared the loss to that of a miscarriage – we had held these children in our hearts for six months, and we knew about their likes, dislikes, what they looked like…and yet to so many people it was something we should just get over.  Yeah, right.

I had been under the impression that another family from our agency had adopted Pooh and Tigger, so when the yearly Philippines birth culture event came along last summer, we decided not to go.  I couldn’t face seeing those kids with another family. 

By the end of my sessions, my counselor wanted to know if I would ever want to make contact with the family who would be adopting Pooh and Tigger.  By that point, I just wanted to know that they were going to be OK.  Who knew if I would ever find them.

Well, I might have plans, but the Lord apparently has bigger plans and the Internet at His disposal.  I was shocked … and so happy to hear from the woman who would be Pooh and Tigger’s Mama after she (accidentally) found me on the Internet.  He knew what I needed (as well as Gregg and the rest of the family) to realize that Pooh and Tigger would always be well cared for and loved.  He found the most amazing family to bring Pooh and Tigger home, and I know it is a perfect fit.  These two children, who made us Mommy and Daddy in our hearts two years ago, have now made two groups of people – from two countries – family.  That’s amazing. 

And as for us?  I know our Little ‘Roo is on his or her way.  And when he or she comes, they will fit just right.