September 23, 2012

Travel day.  Not yet leaving the Philippines, but leaving the region where Francis spent the first 7 years of his life.  Such a painful day for him.  The grief he felt in leaving Legazpi to go to Manila was written all over his face.  The intensity of his broken heart was enough to bring any one of us to tears.

The day started with a very early breakfast, loading up the van to the airport, and farewell to the staff of the Venezia, who had been so very kind and helpful during our stay. We took the quick ride to the Legazpi airport and then the day started to go downhill quickly.  We had to deal with a baggage agent who was charging exorbitant cash fees for overweight bags, which resulted in our nearly missing the plane.

Ready to go to Manila.

  When we got on the plane, Francis sat next to the window.  He sat with his face up against the glass the entire flight, looking forlornly at what he was leaving behind.  When we arrived in Manila, he was still quiet.  Then we got to the hotel. 

Leaving Legazpi - So very sad.

 Our itinerary for the rest of the week was to have free time the rest of the 23^rd, then go to ICAB on the 24^th, rest on the 25th and go home on the 26^th. 

In his time in Manila, Francis went all out to keep us on our toes.  One of his favorite tricks was locking the doors to the different rooms in the suite.  We had a few of our own tricks to prevent this from happening, but Francis was a pretty determined little guy. 

First family picture.

On the other hand, this was the first time that Francis sat down with his Magna Doodle and drew a family picture.  He was showing us that he felt that he belonged, even though he pushed his limits.  He still had a daily freak-out, generally around the same time in the afternoon, kicking, hitting, pinching, hair-pulling…it was getting worse, not any better. 

We had dinner that evening in the dining room, looking and feeling completely exhausted.  Francis, on the other hand, was full of pep and raring to go.  I still don’t know where he comes up with all of his energy.  We were full of hope that when he saw us make our promises to love him forever the next day at ICAB, he would understand that this relationship was forever and always and he would stop lashing out so painfully.  

Too tired to eat his mango dessert at the end of the day.

 To Be Continued…

September 22, 2012

We spent our last day in Legazpi on September 22.  Since this was our last day before we had to leave for Manila, we decided to mostly stick around the hotel and take it easy.  I had had a nasty upper respiratory tract infection brewing since almost the start of our trip, but this day I woke up feeling at my absolute worst.  I pretty much wanted to just curl up in bed and be done.  Francis, for his part, woke up in a much better mood than he went to bed in the night before.

Waking up happy and ready to go!

 Even though we had originally decided to keep Francis from using the tablet until we were on the plane, he sure had other plans.  He had gotten involved with playing the games we had installed on the tablet, and the one thing it was absolutely good for was preventing a tantrum.  On the other hand, when we took it away from him, we were pretty much guaranteed an instant tantrum.

Loving the games on the tablet.

 I was a little frustrated that I had not done enough shopping for Family Day gifts for Francis while we were in Legazpi.  Gregg and my father decided to take Francis for a few hours to play ball with him, and my mom and I took a taxi to the mall.  We heard that there was a straw market nearby.  We inquired about directions while at the mall and were directed to a jeepney.  We took the jeepney to the straw market, which turned out to be within walking distance.  Totally fine by us, though.  Taking the jeepney was a cool cultural experience we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to experience otherwise.  The straw market was a great place to purchase locally-made gifts for Francis, particularly items that were made out of volcanic ash and stone from the Mayon volcano.

Later that evening, we went to Mass at St. Gregory the Great again.  This time, we had Francis with us.  Francis fell asleep on my lap during the Mass and looked to me to carry him up the aisle during Communion.  It was a really beautiful experience.

This was in stark contrast to being back in the room, where Francis was starting to lose his cool over having to go to Manila the next day.  More tears.  More fighting.  More kicking and clawing.  Gregg and I tried to explain to him that this meant forever.  We would go to Manila and promise to be his mommy and daddy and love him forever.  We did a puppet show and made it entertaining for him.  Ultimately, one can never expect that promising all the love in the world will make the loss of everything a child has ever known any easier for them.  We had a long journey ahead of us to ease the hurt.         

To Be Continued...

September 21, 2012

September 21 was another pool day. 

Francis thoroughly enjoyed the water, but despised anything that even remotely resembled a rule.   He loved being tossed up in the air between Lolo and Lola, and they started to show him how to swim in preparation for swimming in their pool. 

When Francis wasn’t in the pool, he enjoyed kicking a ball around a grassy area with Daddy.  His athleticism really started to shine through.  Gregg and I, two not-so-athletically-inclined people, began to realize that we would have our hands full with this quick kid who seemed to be gifted in just about any sport he tried.

I don’t remember what set him off when we came back from swimming on the 21^st.  He was angry – so, so angry.  He was crying and screaming, and we tried to hold him.  He didn’t want to be held.  He didn’t want to be held, and he started kicking, punching, and pulling hair.  I remember trying to soothe him and tell him it would be OK.  Then I told him to stop hurting me.  Gregg tried to soothe him and got kicked.  He cried and cried.  We cried and cried.  Our agency liaison had left for Manila that morning.  We had nowhere to turn for help.  We didn’t know what to do but sit there and stick it out as he cried and beat his way through the grief.  Then, as quickly as it started, it was over.

Later in the evening, we decided to go back to the mall to pick up a sweatshirt and jeans for Francis since it was supposedly getting cold back home.  We also wanted to go Barong shopping for Francis, Gregg, and my father.  We found everything we needed and discovered that everything we heard about Christmas coming to the Philippines in September was true.  The stores in the mall played Christmas music.  Christmas trees graced the department stores. 

 

All decked out for Christmas in September.

 After shopping, we went back to Jollibee’s for our last dinner there while in Legazpi.  Francis made quick work of his favorite Jollibee’s spaghetti.  After a picture with the Jollibee, we headed home for bedtime.  We were all starting to get exhausted.   

Don't mess with his Jollibee's spaghetti...

To Be Continued...

September 20, 2012

We were still holding it together just fine, but things were starting to slide downhill on September 20, and sliding fast.

We got up in the morning with the intent to Skype with family members back in New Jersey.  Francis’ great-grandmother had been waiting for a long time to see her newest great-grandson.  This was going to be the first time that we brought out the tablet.  After seeing Francis with Gregg’s phone, the digital camera, and the video camera, we knew we had a little technology nut on our hands.  We had wanted the tablet to be our Ace in the hole for the plane ride back home, the super-cool new thing to keep him occupied.  Well, Skyping back home was the death of that idea.  Francis was fascinated with entertaining everyone back home (he recognized everyone we were Skyping with and wasn’t all that shy) and showed off to the best of his ability.  After Skyping, he was all about the tablet and discovering the games that we had loaded onto it especially for him.  He had an unnerving ability to understand the technology, and an even more unnerving unwillingness to give it up, no matter what we said or did or what other distractions we provided.

Later that day, I took Francis to the pool along with Lola and Lolo.  Gregg stayed back at the hotel due to a nasty, painful sunburn he had picked up the last time we visited the pool.  We had the whole pool to ourselves – it was wonderful.  We brought balls and boats to play with and were set to have a grand old time.  Francis and I were having fun dunking under the water and splashing around, and he was in his element swimming between Lola and Lolo and having Lolo toss him in the air. 

 

The little fish.

Like any little boy, though, he wanted to do some things his way.  He wanted to run around the pool.  He wanted to dive into three feet of water.  In general, he wanted to – and did – do some things that he just shouldn’t have done for his own safety.  I told him not to do these things.  I told him several times not to do them, and he tuned right out.  The gentleman responsible for the upkeep of the pool jumped in and repeated what I said to Francis in his local dialect, Bicol.  I believe he also threatened that the police would come if he didn’t behave.  Francis behaved after that.  Of course Francis didn’t listen to me – I was the fun babysitter at the time.  He didn’t recognize me as the final authority figure yet.

When we went back to the room, Gregg and I tried to do some quiet activities, like coloring, with him.  He wanted no such thing.  He wanted games on the tablet.  He had a meltdown like I had never seen before.  I sat and I held him as he thrashed and cried, and cried, and cried.  We got through it.  I was a mess when it was all over, but he was done – just done.  He picked up his coloring book and colored until dinner.  The ride of a lifetime had just kicked into high gear.

To Be Continued…