Francis and His Posse

Prior to our bringing Francis home, a lot of people had expressed their concern to us about how we would deal with bringing a new child together with a house full of animals.  We had a plan to introduce them slowly, not allow them in the same room alone together, and hope that he wasn’t allergic to them and that everyone got along!

The result?

We got very, very lucky.

Prior to our trip to the Philippines, we sent a photo album to Francis and included pictures of Lakota and all of the cats.  When we met him and were still in the Philippines, it turned out that he had decided to take a liking to our cat, Boots.  He was playing with our cell phones and pretending to “text Boots.”  Whether the cat liked him or not, he had decided that she was going to be his kitty.  Fortunately for everyone (especially Francis), Boots is a sweetheart of a cat and she is perfectly happy to have Francis love on her. 

Introducing Francis to Lakota was a bit of a different story.  We thought we had it all planned out.  We had one of Lakota’s favorite treats ready for Francis to give her for as soon as we walked in the door from the airport.  We figured this would put Francis on solid ground with her and still give her something to take a while to chew so that we would have enough time to get our bags in the door and get somewhat settled.  What we had hoped wouldn’t happen, of course, did.  Francis realized just how big Lakota really was, freaked out, refused to give her the cookie, and ran screaming into the next room.  I think at that point we realized we were really in for it, and my parents, who had traveled with us, felt horrible about having to go home!

It took a few days, of course.  As planned, one of us was always on top of Francis and Lakota whenever they were near each other.  Lucky for us, Lakota, who has never shown much interest in children before, is a very intelligent dog and realized that someone very, very special had entered “her territory.”  This little boy was someone her people seemed to love very much, and that was all Lakota needed to know to decide that Francis was going to be her boy, and the person she was most responsible for keeping safe.  Doggy kisses?  You bet.  Once Francis let Lakota give him kisses, she was all over it.  “Kissin’!” he would squeal when Lakota would lick him.  Before he told either Gregg or me that he loved us, we heard him tell her, “I love you, ‘Kota.” 

Like many children who are adopted at older ages, we are working through some issues with Francis’ adjustment.  We expected that this would happen.  We did not expect some of the extent that it would go to.  What we also did not expect was that Lakota would become Francis’ therapy dog.  Our feisty girl, who will become a teenager on Thanksgiving Day, knows just when our son is hurting the most, when to go to him and how to calm him down, just by being there and “Kissin’.”  She also knows when it’s best to stay away.  She’s done some things to calm him that I wouldn’t have believed if I hadn’t witnessed it myself.  

Still, two of our cats haven’t quite warmed up to the newest member of the family yet.  One of these days they’ll get with the program.  Until then, Patches and Shadow prefer to hang out under our bed and hide during the day, then come out and play after Francis is in bed.  I think he’s a little too active for their more reserved lifestyle. 

So what would I say to the woman back in this post who criticized me for waiting to adopt a child until my dog was 12?  I’d say I have an amazing dog and she’s doing just fine as a “big sister.”

But What About Your DOG?

First thing yesterday morning, I put Lakota in the car and took her to the vet’s office for her yearly shots and checkup.  Our vet is a lovely, patient woman who is terrific with Lakota, thank goodness, because from the moment we get out of the car to the moment we get back in Lakota is 60 pounds of “Get Me OUT Of Here!”  I am normally exhausted by the end of her appointment.  We had a good chat yesterday about keeping Lakota calm through the transition of bringing Francis home and all the best ways of introducing boy and dog.  It went well, and one of us (ahem, NOT Lakota) left the exam room happy.

Then we went back out to the waiting area to pay.

There was a woman with a small dog having a conversation with an older couple who had two cats.  They all started telling me what a beautiful Husky I had.  The gentleman asked if I wanted to trade her for two cats.  “No thanks.  I have six of my own,” I said.  The lady with the dog wanted to know how old Lakota is.  She’s 12.  Apparently she must be a groomer, because she kept telling me how great it would be to get her hands on Lakota and groom her.  I told her politely that Lakota did not like to be groomed and fought hard when we groomed her, and since she had been stressed recently, I was not pushing it.  But thank you. 

Then the vet tech came out and gave me the special pheromone collar I needed to keep Lakota calm and soothed through the transition.  She wished me luck with our trip and the adoption.  And wouldn’t you know it?  Miss Groomer couldn’t keep her mouth shut when she heard that one.  “You waited until the dog was 12 years old to adopt a kid?  How could you do that to her?  You made her live with six cats and now a kid at age 12?  Really?”

Are you KIDDING ME?  The nerve this woman touched was unbelievable.  My dog has been my baby for the last 12 years.  Gregg and I have been trying to adopt since she was three.  It would have been a million times easier on her if we brought a child into her world when she was a young dog.  And you don’t think I don’t know that?  I think every day about how this will impact her.  She already knows change is coming and shows signs of stress.  She’s like the baby of the family who feels their position is being usurped by a new baby. 

When Gregg and I brought the cats into the family, they were tiny kittens and we had heard that Huskies were known for killing kittens.  The two of us sat with the dog and the cats day after day, helping them to bond to the point that the dog thinks she’s the cats’ mother and they love her just as much.  Those were our cats.  Now we’re talking about our son and his safety, and we will go to any length to keep them all safe and happy.

And one more thing while I’m ranting.  The next person who considers saying to me, “Gee, you better hope Francis isn’t allergic to cats or dogs” better reconsider.  I’ve heard it one too many times.  Yes, we think about it.  Yes, we think about it often, and we know what the consequences are and what our priorities are.  We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but thanks anyway.

 Lakota and Boots are waiting for you, Francis!

Lessons from an ice cream cone

It’s no secret in our family that our Husky, Lakota, is our baby.  She is so spoiled (even more by my mother than by us) and spends most of her days now curled up next to my desk watching me type.  She’s always been a picky eater, and we try not to give her treats unless she’s finished her food for the day. 

Then there was tonight.  Mind you, Lakota is almost 11 years old now.  Her hip bothers her sometimes.  But we’ve had strangers off the street ask us if she’s only three or four because she’s just so dang feisty and young-looking.  Well, tonight after I finished washing the dishes, Miss Lakota decided that even though she didn’t want to eat her food, she wanted a treat – now.  This dog stood by the closet door (where her treats are kept) and barked.  Then she ran around the dining room table three times, jumped on the couch, barked at the closet door, and jumped straight up in the air about three feet and landed on all fours.  I was hysterical.  She hasn’t done anything like that since she was two and jumped onto my parents’ dining room table from a standing position.  (No treats from grandma that day!)  Moral of this story?  Make me laugh and do something out of the ordinary and you’ll probably get that treat before you finish your food, Lakota. 

Gregg and I learned a thing or two about breaking the rules over the summer.  Normally, our conversations about dinner go something like, “What do you want me to make for dinner?”  “I don’t know, what do you want?”  Then one day, we both decided we weren’t all that hungry, but Gregg had a craving for ice cream.  Ice cream it was.  No protein, no green vegetable.  Just ice cream.  Because you know what?  Right now it’s just us – we’re not thinking of a child’s nutritional needs yet.  We’ve followed the rules, and ice cream for dinner isn’t a huge rule breaker – as long as it’s not every night :)  We actually did this a few times over the summer, and you know what?  They were probably some of my favorite nights with my husband.  Who doesn’t smile when they’re eating a crazy-good ice cream flavor? 

So ultimately, I guess what I’m saying is that I hope I’m that kind of mom when the time comes and the time that I’ve spent waiting has been for learning the extra lessons I’ll need along the way.  Rules are important and need to be followed – but hey, sometimes you just need to eat dessert first.