The months are not getting any easier despite prayers for patience and keeping myself extremely busy with work and a house that has recently decided to start picking fights with us. No, the months are getting harder, and today in particular is a very hard day. I’m looking at the calendar and it says 32 months. Eight months past the original maximum. One month under when the majority of the referrals are coming in these days.
I’m pissed off because I am currently dangling by my fingertips at the end of my rope. We got our confirmation, in a rather heartless phone call from our then-program coordinator two weeks ago that we had not been matched and a match was not looking good at the time because of our medical conditions. I had to call doctors, get letters, new photos and hope that something will strike a social worker’s heart that we are not bad people. And now I’m left in limbo, waiting for this package to be sent out from our agency and for ICAB to get it and for someone to care. I’m pissed off because – well, because of that, I have no hope for a referral this month, and I have no hope for a referral next month. Considering the time it takes after matching for the referral paperwork to come through, quite frankly, I have no hope of seeing a referral until maybe the three year mark. And yes, I am pissed off. To boot, Christmas was unleashed yesterday everywhere I looked, and I have officially landed in the miserable zone for the next two months.
Yes, I can say another month is past, but I sure can’t say I feel another month closer at this point.
We just got our referral the end of Sept. after waiting one week short of 33 months. We also had things in our background that made us and our agency question how long we would have to wait. We were told to expect to wait 3 years at least. My husband had been on meds for depression in the past and our religion is not considered one of the mainstream ones. I know how frustrating it can be, but just know that you will get your referral and it will be for the child that was meant to be part of your family. He or she is just not ready yet. I pray for your sake you will hear something very soon.
ReplyDeleteAdrianne
Jen, hang in there!! You are almost there!! The wait totally sucks and is downright depressing at times but there is something soooo wonderful about to happen to you guys. You guys will FINALLY be parents!!!!! You will make great parents to one beautiful child. Hoping that you don't have a post titled "33 months"!!!!!
ReplyDeleteRenee
I know I'm not the "right" person to care, but I sure do care that you're going through this. Truly, it is not fair. I know it is just awful to have to keep re-submitting paperwork and photos and all of that. I'll just end by say I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteNothing I can say will make you feel any better. I know that. Just know that I love you tons and think about you all the time!
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog Jennifer and I can totally hear your pain. We're waiting parents for the Thai program from Australia. We've been waiting (wait for it)more than four and a half years. While everyone else in Australia gets allocated. Yep that's right we're the oldest file in Thailand from Australia. We started our adoption journing in 2004 and our file landed in Thailand in March 2007. We were told (at the time) we'd be allocated in 12 months. and then the waiting time just kept getting longer. Now its officially at 4 years although families are getting the call at 3 years (just not us). We are beginning to lose hope as well. :(
ReplyDeleteKerrie