Thursday, August 25, 2011

Making light of a stressful situation

I’m finding some stress in our wait again the past few days.  It could be the fact that we’re on the border of the two-and-a-half-year mark.  (I’m actually pretty sure that’s what it is.)  I’m restless.  I’m having a hard time focusing on my work.  I’m finding the need to accomplish something else in addition to my work (I’m not sure what that is), and yet I find myself looking from my work to my phone to my e-mail and back again.  It’s a vicious cycle.  I actually think Lakota’s had enough of it – she keeps giving me very pitiful looks from the couch. 

I’m still hearing that irritating, over-used phrase, “You’ll get the call when you least expect it” a whole lot.  August has been a bit of a bust, but there are some interesting things going on in September and October, so I decided to have some fun with this saying.  The plain and simple fact is (and yes, I know I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again), at this stage of the waiting game, you expect it at every moment of every day.  I would probably only be surprised if the call came at 2 a.m.  (So if my social worker is reading this and wants to really surprise me – there’s your cue.) 

So here is my list of the top places that could make the best story for getting a referral in the upcoming months:

3.  Sweating at the vet’s office with a big dog who hates going there
2.  Waiting to be called for jury duty
1.  The middle of the Atlantic Ocean.  We know that this is a possibility, right, Renee?  I can guarantee you if the call has not come at this time we will be checking messages every time the ship comes into port!  (And we are always the type to lose the phones on vacation, too…I think I’ve lost it!)

Anyone else have any good places to add to the list?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Just one wish

Every year, in the weeks leading up to my birthday, my very best friend (“she who has always been more like a sister to me”) begins asking me what it is that I want that year. 

For years, I’ve really needed to dig deep to come up with something to tell her.  There’s nothing I can come up with that I need, and not a whole lot that I really want. 

There is one thing that I want, and I’ve probably mentioned it every year for the past four years at least, but I know she can’t do a darn thing about it. I want my child home!

I know that this child will come to us whenever it’s the right time.  Not my time – the right time.  This year, while the unattainable birthday dream might be a referral phone call, oh, today, my true birthday wish is this:

That my child-to-be is happy, healthy, safe, and loved, wherever s/he is, and that his or her heart might be ready and willing to accept parents who will love and cherish him or her forever.

That is what I’m wishing for today.      

Thursday, August 4, 2011

29 months - plan the vacation

Moving on, we hit 29 months today.  (After a while, keeping track of the months is a bit like singing “99 bottles of beer on the wall.”  You know the song is going to end eventually, but it just…keeps…going…) 

The last family from our agency to receive a referral from the Philippines was matched with a 4 year old at exactly 29 months.  I believe this was the longest wait so far.  I don’t have very high expectations that this will happen for us.

The new rumor circulating now is that there are not so many children in the 3+ age range available for adoption, so couples requesting children 3+ are actually being offered referrals for younger children.  I’m not sure what I think of this.  Something seems wrong with this train of thought.  I would have figured it would have been the exact opposite.  At this point, I’ve pretty much given up trying to understand anything.  I’m just waiting and hoping…waiting and hoping.

Completely independent of the adoption, July was a stressful month for us.  Adding the stress of the wait to it, we weren’t a very happy household over the past month.  With some tears, I finally realized that our child won’t be coming home this year, and we should just take advantage of Gregg’s PTO before he becomes overly stressed out at work. I did some research, found some great deals, and paid the travel agent a visit, and the final result is that we’ll be going on a seven-night cruise to New England and Canada in October.  Um, is it October yet?

Here’s hoping August will be a better month than July.  August is normally a busy and pleasant month for us.  Tomorrow Gregg and I will mark 11 years since the day we first met.  Nothing’s turned out the way we planned it and life’s been crazy, but I couldn’t love him more.  Five days after that is my birthday, and I’m so thankful to my mom for planning a lovely day out for me to keep my mind off a phone that won’t ring.  I am amazingly lucky to have a fantastic support system, including all my wonderful bloggy buddies!