Honey, Is There Something You Need?

Francis is everywhere in our home.  His picture not only is the wallpaper on my computer, but it’s also the screensaver.  There are beautiful 8x10 pictures of him smiling (dimples and all!) in the living room and a gorgeous 5x7 of him with a particularly devilish grin.  My brag book full of pictures is never more than about four feet away from me, and – oh – did you say you haven’t seen the pictures yet?  Then yes, you’re in luck, you can see them right now!  Gregg also has our little man gracing his computer at work – and the screensaver, his phone, and I think there’s one on his cubicle wall for good measure.  Obsessed?  No.  Head over heels in love with this child already?  Yes. 

I just caved to Gregg’s incredible talents of persuasion and we got a tablet.  Because 22 hours on a plane is a long time to keep a six-year-old entertained, and there’s a weight limit on the carryons.  Friday night, we were looking up some child-friendly, educational but fun at the same time apps to download, and Gregg got the idea that we should change the wallpaper on this little “i” device.  Guess who’s on that wallpaper now?

Soon after the picture came up, I got this crazy feeling in my chest and my arms.  “Francis needs a hug,” I said to Gregg.  “He needs a hug right now.”  It was 9:00 in the morning, Philippines time.  I don’t know what brought it on, and I haven’t had that feeling ever before.  Oddly, I couldn’t shake the feeling all weekend that something was up with him.  I still don’t know what it is, and I wish I could figure it out.  I know he’s being well cared for, but I just couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he needed us for something this weekend.  Was he not feeling well?  Was he wondering if we were still coming to get him?  Did he have a fight with his friend?  Going to bed last night, I wondered if I figured out what it might have been.  It is the first Monday in June.  School should be starting any day now – maybe this was the first day of school.  If it was, this was my baby’s first day of Kindergarten – and I missed it.  Moms are supposed to send their kids off to their first day of Kindergarten with a hug, and I couldn’t.  Is he wondering how long he’ll be in school before we come to get him?

I sent a request today to see if we can mail him a letter at some point before we go.  I want him to know we’re still coming for him, and he is still loved – much more than he may realize!